LET’S SEE IF I CAN MAKE GARLICKY SAUCE WITH THE FOUR VAGUELY APPROPRIATE INGREDIENTS I HAVE IN MY KITCHEN: THE ADVENTURE
- AWOLNATION - Sail (Feed Me Remix)
- Lorde - Everybody Wants to Rule the World
Sail © 2011 Red Bull Records; Everybody Wants to Rule the World © 1985 Phonogram (UK), Mercury (US), Vertigo (CA); The Hunger Games: Catching Fire - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack © 2013 Republic Records, Mercury Records. My mash-ups are transformative works and are protected by the DMCA’s fair-use doctrine.
Protip: this is walking tempo, so make sure to play it while walking away from explosions like a badass
THERE’S BEEN AN INCIDENT AND THE PRESIDENT’S SON (WHO IS SO VERY LOVED BY THE PUBLIC) NEEDS TO BE MOVED NOW
[movie narrator voice] IN A WORLD WHERE THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD’S ONLY WEAKNESS ISHIS QUICK-TO-DODGE-SECURITY- ENTHUSIASTIC-FRESHLY-GRADUATED-FROM-COLLEGE SON, THE COUNTRY IS ON EDGE WHEN THE FIRST SON DISAPPEARS. THE RANSOM DEMAND IS HIGH BUT THE STAKES ARE CLEAR THE KIDNAPPERS MEAN TO SEND A MESSAGE AND DON’T PLAN ON RETURNING HIM ALIVE. THE ONE FORMER SECRET SERVICE AGENT WHO QUIT HIS JOB MONTHS AGO BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF GETTING TOO CLOSE TO HIS CHARGE NOW IS DETERMINED TO BRING HIM BACK
[dramatic fade to black, the music swells and then fades, and then the only sound is the slick slide of leather over skin]
This needs to be written. I nominate… Umm…. I dunno.
attn: helenish; I don’t know you so well, but I feel this is a thing you might enjoy and would just HAPPEN to be pretty good at writing, also!!
The Metropolitan Museum of Art
DAMN, DRESS, I WOULD NOT KICK YOU OUT OF BED FOR EATING CRACKERS
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR RECENTLY BROKEN-UP-WITH NEIGHBOR IS (YOU’RE LIKE 85% SURE) HITTING ON YOU:
2) MAKE A DUMB JOKE
3) MAKE LIKE FIVE DUMB JOKES
3bis) ONE OF WHICH IS IN ENGLISH (WHICH WAS NOT THE LANGUAGE OF THE CONVERSATION)
4) PANIC SOME MORE
5) PLAY WITH HER DOG
5bis) THAT IS NOT A EUPHEMISM
6) AGREE IN A FLUSTER TO GO OUT TO A BAR IN TWO WEEKS SO SHE CAN HELP YOU PICK UP CHICKS EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T ACTUALLY WANT TO PICK UP CHICKS
I’m so great at this stuff. Someone hand me a medal.
I think I need to learn how to vid for this fic.
(I know my way around video editing software, y’know, enough, but I’ve never used it for anything besides making horrendous short films for the make-a-movie-in-a-week contest at my university and that one time I animated a thing. UGH. UGHGHHGHG.)
'Scuse me while I go huffily download HandBrake.
"Wait, you can’t eat chocolate? Really? Oh my god!"
"Shut up, Stiles," Derek huffs. "I’m caffeine-intolerant."
"Yeah, ‘cause you’re literally a dog,” Stiles cackles.
Derek carefully does not say, That’s racist, or, Humans are allergic to things too. Stiles doesn’t––Stiles didn’t grow up around wolves, he reminds himself. It’s not his fault he’s an inconsiderate asshole.